To Her.To Him.

It's 3.A.M in the morning. I am sitting in the bus a midst pouring rain and flashing lights. I see the wipers of the bus swaying back and forth. Blips of shadow of street lights changing colors along the way on the road. Dew drops charting a meandering path on the windows. The chatter with my friend dies down. I don't attempt to muster energy to keep the conversation going. I slowly put the loop of my thoughts about projects, internships, courses to rest. It's one of the moments when your head is in cahoots with the heart. A silence in equilibrim. It's just like one of the moments when you would want to shut your mind off and not drain the paltry energy to be sapped by any thoughts. A midst the ensuing silence, I hear the gastric juices churning in my stomach. It's been two days since I am away from home. I feel famished and drained after two day' stay in lab.

I barge into my house after bidding adieu to my friend. I see remnants of food left in the vessel, I am mildly disappointed. I gobble the left overs and turn the lights on in my room. Suddenly, like a gushing river breaking open the walls of a sturdy dam, the feeling envelopes me. 

She sits beside my bed, where I am lying, caressing my forehead, pressing my hands and massaging my feet. She watches me chewing every morsel of food with a plate in her hand , feeding me like a baby in the cradle. He puts on the blinders and closes all the doors. He gently shoves a blanket to cover me and switches off all the cell phones, removes the plugs of telephone cable, an effort to keep every possible source of aural disturbance away from me and gently switches on the fan for me. The room is pitch dark."Sublime" is the feeling. I feel precious. I feel tender. I dig, dig the cerebral flesh like a hopelessly hopeful person frantically searching for the treasure hidden underneath the earth.I grin,i smile, I reminiscence and search some more, hoping that would succor my fragile state.

My desperate attempts of recreating the whole scene in my mind tugs me back to reality. I open my eyelids find my orange-lit room empty . I wake up my inner eye from the string of photographic memories played as a movie in the mind. I see myself curled like an earthworm in the bed ,smelling her saree held between my fingers. Words shrink things that seem limitless. Attempting to transform this feeling of preciousness and unconditional love is a great injustice to the whole feeling itself. I let it linger as long as I could hold on to it. I shamelessly cling to carapace of foregone memories refusing to budge and fall into the hay of reality.

I haven't shed a tear nor do I intend to resort to cliches of saying "Missing them badly" because I am selfish, selfish enough to even let this feeling seep out, for the fear of the fact that it can be tossed aside as yet another banal whine.

I lock them back and keep them safely back to where they belong for yet another day, for yet another moment of hollowness. They are my companions till eternity. A cushion when nothingness envelopes me.

I sigh!!! I fall asleep twiddling her saree in between my fingers.